Edith Eva Eger, the wonderful Holocaust survivor and specialist in post-traumatic stress disorder, still alive and kicking at the age of 93 describes in her memoir how she and her sister supported each other and the girls around them.
At the end of the war they ended up buried alive in a heap of dead bodies. Somehow with a can of sardines they hadn't been able to open Eva was able to catch the flicker of a light and make one of the liberating soldiers aware that they were still alive. She and her sister were pulled out and nursed back to life as both were like skeletons. Her back was broken, but somehow she managed to never view herself as a victim.
She always remembered her mother saying to her 'No one can take from you what you put in your own mind'. And she would keep saying to herself 'if I can survive today, I'll live another day'.
Eva keeps repeating that it's not what happens, but what you do with it that matters. She emphasises that suffering can give you strength. No, you'll never be the same, she'll never be the same lovely young woman going to the Olympics as a gymnast, planning a beautiful life with her boyfriend, but today, she's a better person, a stronger person.
Suffering and loss does change you. You'll never be the same, but when you connect with the power of love and goodness within and around you, you'll be stronger. You'll be better.