Letting Go..

I do like, to my detriment, to be known to be perfect. And so it humiliates me when someone contradicts me in front of others, when someone ignores me on a zoom or when someone doesn't take an interest in me when I put myself out to be interested in them. That's one side of the coin.

The other side of the coin is that I'm good at forgiving and opening my heart to that very person but it does take a bit of processing. This is where my intense study of Jesus' life comes in handy because I experience that to be genuinely good and worthwhile. And then I think about how Jesus did everything to heal, be kind, be caring and helpful to people and yet he was ignored, rejected and eventually killed.

But what I love about that story is that he re-appeared and his story is still alive today. For me this is where I put my faith: that when a person loves, they cannot be destroyed. Not really, the body might be annihilated but the spirit will live on - for ever. 

And so it doesn't matter if I look the fool or if I'm ignored or insignificant to some people, what matters is that I love them. I look at their true self which is a loving heart covered up perhaps by childish fears or societal pressures. And so maybe I caught them at a weak moment but ultimately there is a caring inner core full of kindness and goodness within them, and everyone of us.

And so to forgive oneself and forgive each other for being so not tuned in at times, for forgetting what it's really all about. That each one of us is created in the image and likeness of love and goodness, and that really is all that matters.