Something Better Around the Corner

Realists tend to suffer with depression whilst the person with positive 'illusions' does very well. It has to do with the way our humanity works. To participate in life we need dreams and hopes for the future. Why get out of the bed unless we thought we could make a difference today, unless we thought we could do some good somewhere?

Trusting that there's a purpose to everything, a loving purpose gives us energy and creativity, our minds open up to finding some good somewhere. Sure, there're negative situations and cruelty but everything can be turned around once we have energy and vision of something better around the corner.

Having dreams doesn't mean that we sit around waiting all day for things to work out, no, it means getting off our bum and do something which brings us closer to the fulfilment of our dream. Do something to improve a bad situation.

The person who believes in calling forth a better world for themselves and everyone else will see possibility that others don't see, will think outside the box while the rest of us are walking around in circles. That person will inspire us to give something another go, or leave something or someone behind in order to make things better. 

The more each one of us believes that there's something better around the corner and apply ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get around the corner, the more wonderful the world becomes to all of us. Even if that something better is simply a deeper awareness of that inner love and goodness that exist within everyone including oneself.

Nailed to The Cross

The human condition is crucifying one way or another. Our need for food, water, shelter and affection leaves us pitiful beings. When push comes to shove, will we put others before us? And more to the point, why would we?

That's the amazing thing about us humans too, women suffer childbirth to give life to another, men and women work in horrendous situations to feed their children and put a roof over their head. Every day people are voluntarily sacrificing themselves for others, why? Because in the end that's what's truly human: to dig deep within accessing that beautiful loving and caring presence that wishes everyone well.

We are at our best when we serve each other, not from having to survive, but from that generous place that wants to do what we can that others suffer less, that others get a chance to flourish and be happy. That others feel those nails of the human survival needs less and open themselves to experiencing that ever loving goodness within and around them.

Admitting Defeat..

 'I can't do it' how often do I whisper these defeatist words to myself? 

Accepting my own powerlessness gracefully, that's the challenge. Not giving out, not blaming but simply taking a moment to process my defeat. Like a young child who falls smack on its bum and just sits there wondering what happened. To take that moment.

Biting more than we can chew is such a human quality, for good and for bad. If we never took any risk, never committed to anything, we'd never fall on our bum, we'd just sit there, so it's a good sign that we have gotten ourselves into this 'impossible' situation. 

It's a good thing to allow the situation to unfold rather than expecting everything to go to plan and everyone to get onboard. Yes, we've lost confidence, but perhaps we can create a deeper confidence from within ourselves which is not built on what we can do or not do, but built on accessing that personal goodness and love from deep within. And then apply that to the situation. 

Ask myself, 'what is now the most loving action to myself and other' because there should be no conflict. Love yourself as you love others - that's the tight-rope upon which we're invited to walk- or dance;-)

Silent Bullying...

Up to the age of fourteen I loved school, mainly due to the banter and good atmosphere that I experienced in the classroom. Then I moved to Norway and everything changed. I remember standing in the school yard in what I thought was my best outfit, purple trousers that I sewed myself, worn with a lovely pair of boots, ready to meet my new class-mates. 

I observed two closed circles of pupils, the 'in' gang who wore the most expensive ski-jacket imaginable, and equally top fashion expensive brand jeans. And the other gang in long sweaters, huddling together perhaps trying not to compare themselves with the 'in' gang but certainly not giving me a look in.

In hindsight I should've just approached one of the 'gangs' and asked them some sort of question or presented myself, who I was, where I was from etc. But I didn't. I allowed myself to be 'bullied' into a corner by other people's silence and lack of attention. I felt I was a nobody, I didn't exist. 

But of course moments like that don't last for ever and I did make one friend whose mum was Danish and who wasn't afraid to approach me. And I became involved in a youth club outside of school. But rejection does leave a scare until we allow ourselves to re-live the situation whilst we include that loving goodness that resides deep within each one of us. 

I now imagine myself as a happy young person approaching one of the 'gangs' telling them how delighted I am to meet them, asking their names. In other words take charge of the situation and be the one to break the ice rather than waiting for others to take the risk. Be the 'big' heart that I am behind all the facade of wanting to be loved and admired. To be the one who reaches out and show kindness to others rather than expecting others to take the first step. 

The Beauty of Anger

 

I used to avoid anger until I discovered that feeling angry about something is an invitation to get to know myself better, get to know what I truly care about. We might think we know ourselves, but maybe there's a deeper, caring side to ourselves that anger can help us explore.

I feel angry when somebody disturbs my work flow with what seems to me an unnecessary question or irrelevant remark. Why? It feels like the person is questioning what I do or who I am. But the real question is whether I believe in what I do and in who I am? Because if I do, would it matter so much if another person doesn't? 

I think when we examine ourselves, mostly our anger is really with ourselves. We don't love ourselves enough. We don't take time out to discover and enjoy that loving goodness which abides deep within us. The goodness who says 'oh hi, how are you?' and takes an interest in another rather than expecting the other person to understand. 

When we truly understand the beauty of our own being we'll automatically appreciate the beauty of that other human being also.

You're Not Alone...

The illusion of aloneness is probably the biggest fallacy ever. So many people have been fooled into believing that they're alone in their pain. Okay, you might be with no-one right now. You might have huge problems, you might have done something horrible or someone might have done something horrible to you. BUT YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

Research on trauma shows that if other people are experiencing the same difficulties, pain or suffering as ourselves it is much easier to bear because we can talk about it, we know that others understand.

But there is a bigger community, a bigger sister- and brotherhood. The sister- and brotherhood of those who choose to love. Love unites us with people and animals that we don't see or hear because love opens us up to a much bigger world, the world of an enormous goodness and care around us and within us.

But there is a veil hiding it all, our human survival instinct can prompt us to hold on to the belief that we have to fend for ourselves and that nobody cares. However there is a loving providence ready to spoil us. I once tested this with a friend of mine. We wanted to see if the loving providence would take care of us.

We set out on the road without any money, food or plan. Just hitching and sharing our story with people who gave us a lift. I've never eaten as much, the amount of meals we were offered. The convents in Ireland that put us up for the night and the people who opened their doors when we needed a bathroom. Just random knock on a door and we were welcomed, cake was brought out and cups of tea.

Not everyone was welcoming but we just moved on and tried somewhere else, asking for a glass of water, the use of the bathroom. One night we ended up sleeping on the floor of a hospital. Sometimes we found whole packets of food just left somewhere. 

I've never been let down when I've trusting in the loving providence. Millions of times in my life it has stepped in and proved life so much more wonderful than I imagined.

It does take that step of fearlessness and trust and being willing to seem foolish by those who only believe in what can be seen. But when we suffer, there is always someone who suffers the same, there is someone somewhere to send good wishes and healing, to journey with. We just can't see them right now.

To Include rather than Exclude...

When someone we care about throws their affection onto somebody else it's important to remember to be inclusive rather than exclusive. Rather than feeling put down or jealous we need to trust that there's room for everybody, including us.

Being inclusive enables us to be bigger than a single situation or event. It's an invitation to open up to that inner goodness and love which abide inside of us, to be generous and happy for people to connect with one another.

That isn't easy when past traumatic experiences are triggered, feelings of being left out or abandoned by someone we trusted, feelings of inadequacy or being unpopular. But this is a chance to mature, forgive and trust that in the end we're all sisters and brothers struggling to make sense of life, struggling to do our best.

Our past hurts and feelings of inadequacy can be processed in a way that allows us to move on and participate in life rather than being paralyzed by that negative loop in our head which tells us how ugly and useless we are.

This is where tuning into that loving goodness that abides deep within and is to be found all around us can be helpful. Allowing ourselves to experience ourselves and others on that deeper level will lead to healing, and yes, inclusion rather than exclusion.