The Weakest Link..

According to the strength measure the least of my strengths is bravery, basically that I'm a bit of a coward. I tend to shrink away from conflict and so might avoid a lot of wonderful experiences out of fear yet I've somehow managed to make a wonderful life for myself. The fact that we're weak in some ways doesn't mean we're not strong in other ways.

And it doesn't mean that we can't become stronger but perhaps it's by building on our strong character strengths that we automatically become stronger in other ways. All my teenage years I wasn't brave enough to speak up in school when I disagreed with something. I guess my problem was that I could always see the other person's point of view, which is good for empathy but doesn't give the other person food for thought!

We all need bravery but the type of bravery we need depends on our personality. For one it can be bravery to shut up and connect with something deeper within themselves and for another it's to speak up and connect with something deeper within another person. And then for all of us it is to have the courage to connect with that deep inner goodness and love which connect us all no matter race, religion, crime or addiction. Having the courage to just be and see what happens😀

A Day for Problem-Solving..

Inevitably life faces us with problems or let's say challenges. Getting out of bed can be a problem when the day seems gray and cold and it isn't the end of the world if we change our routine somewhat in order to cope with our current lockdown as long as nobody needs us at that hour of the morning.

My initial problem today would be that I feel uninspired, a problem because I do believe in feeling inspired, experiencing 'flow' and making the wellbeing skills available in whatever form possible. But let me welcome this feeling of emptiness and tune in to just being, if that makes sense to you.

And so rather than making my daily juice, I've decided give it a break on Saturdays and Sundays, too much of a good thing😀or is that an excuse 😉 I've decided to make a spelt pancake. I love using spelt flour as it's more nutritious than ordinary flour and so I proceed to add sunflower seeds, chia seeds, organic milk and an organic egg into the mix. And I feel better.

Sometimes our intuition kicks in, I've been reading about all the good fats we get from seeds, so I've intuitively solved the problem of needing to be as healthy as I can whilst enjoying it because if I don't enjoy something I won't easily do it again.

But sometimes problems have to be faced head on. My current problem e.g. is that my two main websites don't translate well into smartphones and that really bothers me, partly because I don't feel I have the skill or time to set aside to deal with this, yet I feel it's important to do something about it. So what I will do is to use some time on Saturdays to investigate how to go about solving this issue trusting that little by little this problem can be solved. So that's good, I've moved beyond a problem into the positive challenge of overcoming this and come out on the other side.

Every day of course we solve hundreds of problems: keep our house clean, keep ourselves and our clothes clean, keep ourselves fed with as much healthy food as possible, not becoming obsessive or anxious about any of that. If there is any issue regarding our survival physically, mentally or spiritually the sooner we address is the better, if nothing else we can decide to do nothing about it right now👌, but it won't play on our subconscious mind because we have faced it and made a decision. 

Accumulating problems only drains our immune system whilst enjoying the challenge of welcoming and 'kick ass' with our problems, do some brain storming and assessing the best way forward brings a sense of achievement and peace of mind. So what's your problem(s)? 

A Day to 'Flow'

For our wellbeing we need to experience Flow over the day, Flow being the state of being fully absorbed by something or somebody to the extent that we don't notice time going by. We are using our skills, like a surfer, someone painting, tuning in to the emotions of another person. There are endless possibilities.

We are challenged but not beyond or below our skills, we are living life fully. We are living the life we have been given exploring its potential, creating something beautiful and worthwhile in some shape or another. Even if nobody else notices or knows, it doesn't matter because we know.

One lady described her love of singing, song-writing and playing the guitar but she did it when no-one else was around, it was 20 years later that she eventually made a single and an album, but it was something she loved doing. She wouldn't make a living from it but for her it was a natural step forward, sharing her love for music, her message of hope through music.

So what is my flow? Well, I do love getting on the bike into nature. Just now harvesting the birch water, doing a bit of stretching and getting a nice photo, is a morning flow I enjoy. Then comes the juice-making which I could enjoy more as it's a privilege to get organic apple, celery, lemon and cucumber at such reasonable prices and to benefit from the hard work people have done growing and nourishing those plants/trees, transporting them, minding them in their shops and making sure we get the best produce possible.

And I could love cleaning the juicer more as it's such a beautiful amazing machine. And so the story goes on. I guess what I'm saying is that we can inject flow into any situation if we want to by connecting to the creative power and love that is within and in people all around us. That we are benefiting from at every moment of the day. 

So now I have to flow along. How about you, what is your flow?

A Day For Character Strength

Character Strengths are the qualities we admire in each other, that gives us energy and contribute to the betterment of ourselves and others. And we all have them. Some more hidden than others, some gone a little, or quite astray, but it is who we are as human beings.

One of my character strengths - this is based on the free test taken at the Character Strength centre but also resonates with my own experience: Forgiveness. It does come fairly natural to me and sometimes I struggle to understand how some people don't just forgive because it makes life so much easier, but that person might have a Justice Strength that prioritises bringing someone to justice, fighting so others don't have to suffer the same as them etc. 

So while I just forgive and move on, I might not another person to change while the person who doesn't forgive as easily might help get justice for certain wrongs that have been done. Having said that, sooner or later one has to forgive in order to be well in oneself and it is possible to forgive and bring someone to justice at the same time.

But forgiveness as a strength can be helpful in preventing anxiety about the future because forgiveness does involve trusting that something good can come out of a situation. Something good can come out of a wrong, out a mistake, even out of war and destruction. 

And so by applying forgiveness to the anxieties I woke up with this morning thinking about how easily a small country like Ireland or Denmark could be taken over by Chinese, Russian or any Arab power, how helpless and vulnerable we really are. We don't know the future.

Perhaps, it was Boris Johnsons decision to ignore agreements about the Brexit border that got working in my subconscious. When those who are our friends suddenly cannot be trusted to keep an agreement.

Forgiveness calms me down, helps me to accept what I cannot change. Helps me to focus on my own work and how that might somehow change the world, gives me the incentive to do my best to create a world of goodness and love in my corner of the world whilst sending positive healing energy towards those involved in solving this 'unsolvable' Brexit border problem.

A Day For Positive Communication

 So to wish others well. To wish for them to connect with their deeper self, their loving self. That is my wish for those who were arrested, for those who were assaulted, for those who were watching the tragic event at the anti-lockdown demonstration in Dublin last Saturday.

Rather than taking sides or condemning anyone I wish them well. I do condemn unnecessary violence but I cannot afford to condemn anyone as I don't know what brought them to where they are. As I don't know, would I have behaved better, I hope I would have, but we don't really know until 'we walk in someone else's shoes' what would do in their situation.

To be mature I have to live with the paradox, to wish others well but still be able to condemn certain behaviours that create war rather than dialogue. 

Yet, non-violent, consistent assertiveness of what we believe in is important. We are responsible for sharing our corner of the truth as we see and experience it, but so are others. To be able to listen with dignity and kindness to the point of view we hate, enable our minds to remain open to solutions and possibilities of how to find a compromise/solution we can all live with. And so I wish all of us love and kindness in our hearts but also courage to be true to who we are today and always.

A Day for Optimism..

So the second skill in the wellbeing course is Optimism, and yes it is a skill that those of us who tend to be pessimistic can learn. Turning what seems a bad situation into an opportunity for learning and betterment.

Just watching Sophia Loren who is now 86 and still acting, she said that in her childhood she experienced extreme poverty but she gained a lot of wisdom. 

Not panicking when something goes wrong, that's the trick, not exaggerating when we experience adversity and pain. So today I'm going to feed myself with some optimistic thoughts when otherwise I'd feel blah...

I love the sun and it looked beautiful rising this morning when I cycled down to collect the birch water, half a liter today, not bad, seemingly trees can be tapped for water if we somehow run out of water 😏

But now the sun is gone and it's cold and grayish so what do I do with that feeling of loss and disappointment? Yesterday I could sit out in the sun and work on my pc😎, I could eat outside but today it's just cold. I accept it, of course, and that's the price we pay for pleasure is it not: when it's gone we miss it and yet we have to move on.

But I know that the sun is above the clouds and it'll come through again🙌 and so instead of saying it's cold and gray today, I'll say 'It's cold and gray now and that's ok because I need the contrast to really enjoy the sun when it's there AND I'll get lots of indoor jobs done, yeah'.

So rather than taking in future possibility of cold and grayness, today I will welcome what is, in this moment, and that somehow gives me joy. We are in this together. We are all challenged in some way or another. But as Sophia Loren pointed out, there was the pain of poverty but there was also the gift of love.

And even though my pessimistic mood/thinking😐 can seem ridiculously petty to those with far greater burdens to bear, Optimism is made up by a multitude of choices every day. I've shared just one area of many. All to be revealed😄

A Day For Gratitude...

So on my birth day a few days ago I committed myself to blog around the skills on my upcoming online course and how I use them myself. My initial plan is to dedicate each of the seven skills to a day in the week.

Skill one fortunately is around gratitude, and please if you want to share your experience today around using that skill please do, we can all learn from each other and it's always a lift to have companions on our journey to greater well-being.

So I am grateful for being in a nice place, even though it's slightly isolated, nature this time of year is beautiful especially when the sun shines. And what a morning, I got up early to collect the birch water/sap that I'm tapping of a tree, it turned out to be the most beautiful frosty morning, see the pic above.

Of course, it's easy to be grateful when everything is working well, we feel good and things are going our way.

So today I'm going to be grateful for something that doesn't go my way because that changes a difficulty into a positive challenge. So

I'm grateful that the creation of my online course is taking sooo much longer than anticipated😊

I'm grateful that I have to update my website and don't know how to 😏because I trust that it will all be revealed as I go along.

I'm grateful for the help I am receiving from the various organisations who are running the programs that I'm using to create my online well-being course, its content and tasks. I've found everyone I contact extremely approachable and helpful. I'm grateful for the corona situation from that point of view. There's a general increase and kindness and positive communication with the people we do see or communicate with, it's like we are making sure that everyone is okay.💖 For that I am truly grateful.